bunny tales

That will be the last email sent with my signature used for the last 9 months.

Goodbye, JAC. My very best wishes to you!

In my crazy, packed and rather stressful life, I am thankful that I have a rope, a cord that holds my sanity and myself together. This rope is weaved together by the many strings around the cord of my faith. These strings are the people who God has placed in my life. Each encounter is unique and well cherished.

A sunbeam through a window where a cat lies basking in this ray of light describes how I feel whenever contact is made with friends I have been blessed with. I was hanging out with a new friend from work last Monday and had the best of times. Fancy that, we were just corresponding via email during our work hours in the two weeks he joined us but easily hit it off with a wonderful evening sharing over dinner and drinks after. As I will be leaving JAC soon, I will miss the fun and lively girls of my division, a few others from City Division, and a new friend, Samuel.

Hearing from old friends is just as heart-warming. A few weeks ago, Marcus was back for the school holidays. Even though we had very limited conversations, but it sure was refreshing to know that the friendship is still there after such a long time. A simple dinner shared with Joe and Gabriel did kindled similar niceness of the good times shared in high school.

The best one thus far was a phone call from a really old friend. I have known this guy since the days of a young girl in elementary school. We shared the same class together. We had one of those “Stand by Me” moments where a groups of kids were friends, were very attached with one another, and might have been confused by such emotions for love. Anyways, we went our separate ways once elementary school was over.

We lost contact but names were mentioned once in a while when we speak with our common friends. We did bump into each other once after 7 years of silence at the Bon-Odori held in Malaysia and soon after I left for Japan. Nevertheless, when he called me a few nights ago, we just talked and talked. It was not the superficial small talk but we were talking about what is going on in our lives right now and were able to care for one another like we have always been there.

It is amazing that through the years, our friendship was like wine. It was aged to become of quality and goodness. By situations like these I can say that true love do exist—not in the lovey-dovey mushy touchy-feely of plain emotions, but the commitment to see that each other is well and happy. Love exists in every human relationship and it is not a convenience as many see it to be.

Do I believe in love? Yes.

Do I believe in a lasting love and companionship? Yes.

With emotions, love is made alive. With reason and commitment, love is kept alive.

This is my concept of passion not only with friends, and the special someone, but it is also extended to everything I do that I will not put any resources and opportunities to waste.

Someone asked me "Why are you leaving? Don’t you like it here?"

"I don’t like myself when I am in Malaysia. I prefer a much organized life and one where people know they are humans and civilized. Or at least, somewhere where people would actually put the effort in making the world a better place."

I see myself transforming into a hideous beast living in Malaysia. Maybe I just am bad at adapting to reverse culture shock. But then again, my defense is "If you can do better and have been at that stage, why discount yourself and opt for the lesser just for the sake of convenience? We all deserve to move up and step up. That is development and civilization."

Every morning when I sit through traffic in my car or attempt to cross roads as a pedestrian, I see this frown forming on my forehead. Anger and impatience run through my veins. My scary and mean face, one I have not unleashed in the past four years in Japan resurfaced. I am huffing and puffing like a steamed up dragon. A nasty phrase rolled off my tongue. I was ready to kill.

You get what I mean? I totally dislike myself at times like these. The Malaysian traffic is able to bring out the worst in a person. I try my best to be a courteous driver, abiding in all traffic rules and law. Someone told me that it is only smart to be a "defensive driver"–taking action before someone does something to you on the road. I would say it is just being rude to others even before they have a chance to squeak. Definitely, I frown on the notion what more it would be for me to put on that practice.

This morning, I came across an article and hopefully it will shed some light. It brought a smile and a little chuckle. Read it and digest!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070619/ap_on_re_eu/vatican_road_rage;_ylt=Apu.ROAx33aYI0nRHQnW5c4DW7oF

As I am rather infamous for my impromptu agendas and lack of information in various aspects of my life, I hereby give you my two weeks’ notice of my leaving the country to embark on another adventure. I have given a rather similar notice to my company about a week ago and am currently wrapping up the loose ends before my last day on June 27, exactly 9 months since I joined JAC.

Normally, as I start my preparations and packing the song “I’m Leaving on a Jet Plane” will play itself over and over again in my head, but this time, I only hear Donkey’s voice singing “On the road again…giddy-up giddy-up” from Shrek 2. Whichever the song maybe, I am stepping away from the threshold of the place I grew up into the sea of uncertainties before me. After 10 months of returning to Malaysia, I am heading back to Japan.

I apologize if I have not spent enough time back home, but have came to realize that there are things that I have to do and staying here for a longer period of time will just make me unhappy. I am also sorry that I did not spend much time catching up with old and close friends, but do appreciate your understanding. This is something the stubborn bunny has got to do.

I will definitely miss all of you and wishing you every good fortune.

My flight will be on July 1, if any of you would like to hang out, just let me know and I will be there. Till then, take care and good riddance!

My weekend started earlier last week (or did it?)

I was asked by Tabby, Elise, and Su-Anne to speak for CF on Friday and took the opportunity to relief myself off work for the day. (CF—Christian Fellowship. It is the weekly meeting of songs, games, and talks held for Christian students back at my high school.) Thus, I woke up slightly later than usual, put on my gear and head off to the bank before going to the hairstylist for a pampering. I got my hair washed, did hair treatment, and had a haircut. It was a nice experience despite the amount of cash I had to pay. Nevertheless, my hair looked fabulous!!!

Su-Anne picked me up after she was done at the kindergarten and we went over to Pastor Tony’s place where CF was held. It was refreshing seeing kids in the high school uniforms up close.  It brought back flashback of memories of the days when I was in their shoes. After a few songs and a game, I gave my little talk. As usual, the response was inaccessible as they were so quiet that the lack of the sound of their breathing makes you wonder whether they are alive. However, after hanging out for a while after, I think the message got through, somehow.

My baby sis and I then sped off for an afternoon shopping at 1-Utama. It has been ages since I have been there but did not enjoy my shopping session as I had terrible waves of headaches. Our shopping spree was cut down to 3 hours, but we went home happy with the smooth traffic and a fancy necklace I bought myself.

Later that evening, as much as I wanted to go for CG (College Care Group) I had a fever. I could not remember when was the last time I had one and I felt like a whale washed up ashore. I stayed in bed for the rest of the evening and felt much better the next morning.

Saturday and Sunday was much better. I had to be at work on Saturday but I did manage to rush home right after, did the laundry and sped out to KLCC for a movie with Nathan. I promised him dinner sometime back never got to it. Anyways, we enjoyed a movie and then went to get some books at JUSCO closer to home. It was fun just hanging out and catching up.

I went out with Sue Lyn after church on Sunday. It was another day of shopping. You have got to love Sue Lyn. We spent a long time at this rather bizarre restaurant that its decoration suited the “late-high-school-college-and-university-hang-out-place” theme. It was rather eccentric sitting on the floor when it was not a Japanese restaurant with dim lights and blaring music. The cuisine was snacks of all kinds. After spending about an hour or so, Sue Lyn and I went for a movie at Times Square and did a little shopping after. Hanging out with her is always refreshing and we were able to sharing our dreams and embarrassing moments while enjoying every bit of each other’s company.

My weekend was a little twist out of the ordinary that made me think, yeah, I should get out of the house a little more often. With the shopping carnival in town, and the summer movies on the silver screen, I ought to go paint the town red and celebrate my youth. Do give me a buzz if you want to hang out. I would be more than happy to oblige.

Madness and havoc are being experienced right now. Okay, maybe I am over-reacting a little, but I just hate it when there is a spin-off or a hiccup in my plans. Due to these little roadblocks, they are taking my time and effort to figure the best way to overcome it. (Yup, sure seems like I will not make a good contestant on “The Amazing Race.”)

Yesterday, I receive a rather unexpected call and it left me flustered and worried. It sure felt like a candy—that a baby has been waiting to take a bite out of it—was taken away and placed high up on the shelf. The situation was made even more difficult when the baby was not supposed to have any candy in the first place. The taker swooped in while mommy was in the same room just having her eyes diverted away for a split second. Man! What a situation it would be if mommy found out!

ARRGH!!! Now, it is time for the clean up. There is quite a lot of coordination and follow up just to solve the matter. There are so many possibilities of the good and the bad that might happen. My mind is exploding and please, don’t ask me what is going to happen in the next few weeks. Today or tomorrow itself seems like a long way to go.

A beam of sunshine warmed up the dark and scary place of my heart this morning as I was doing my reading.  It goes…

“The future can be a scary place. The unknown can be overwhelming, especially when the known has so many struggles. That’s why we need to trust in what God has promised. No matter what situation [we] will face, [we] can depend on God’s promise of help—regardless of what trouble the world will be in. God said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Heb. 13:5). And Jesus said, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:20).

Those are great promises to depend on when we start to worry about the future.

We may not know what the future holds, but we can trust the One who holds the future.” —Dave Branon

That was assuring.

Hey, Suemae. Everything will work out for the best. Put your mind, your strength, and your heart to what really matters. Have faith and be obedient. There will be sunshine and rainbows after the thunderstorms.

(Music)

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

– “My Favorite Things, Sound of Music”

This song was playing in my head all weekend.

I reckon it was triggered off when I saw how my sister’s face lit up when we went to get her a new mobile last Friday. Her face was rather sour after I reacted to her comments in the car about something. Tired and annoyed, I gave her a piece of my mind while standing in front of the vendor. After the knot was untwisted and payment settled, the phone has landed in the hands of its new owner. My sister’s whole facial expression, tone of voice, and behavior changed. She was as perky as a spring bunny.

Hmm, it seems hat human moods and emotions are easily affected by the possession or use of material things. Comments or events that are brought about by physical or material items affecting the status of such things also moves one to the place of being happy or sad. I myself was affected by a comment like such last week. Someone who I have last met in March came to meet me on Friday. She said, "You look different… Much better looking that I last saw you… Prettier." That made my day. A little ego boost, and a point added to my physical and materialistic value. It felt extra good as it came from a female.

I know, it sounds a little shallow, but material and physical things do help trigger off the "feel-good" feeling that is a breath of fresh air, a pick-me-up-during-the-low-times, and will bring an instant smile or laughter. So, for all those cynics out there who thinks that I hardly smile or lighten up, the following has never failed.

* Hitting the beach either to relax in the sun, sleeping, a stroll on the shoreline or building sandcastles; or enjoying myself in the waves body surfing, kayaking or snorkeling.

* A walk in the park at the right temperature, weather and season. The top of my list right now is when the cherry blossom are out or in high autumn.

*Being showered by lots of confetti, surrounded by happy and lively music.

*Massive fireworks display either in quality or in quantity at the right range.

*Snow. Lots of snow. Fresh snow covering at least 5 inches. Building snowmen and snow fights are GRRRRReat!

Just writing about it makes me happy… Ahh, the good memories… I want to do it again! But alas! I have to be at work, seventeen floors up in the city center, battling paper work and stuff.

I need another pick me up now… I guess I have to settle with food!

Over and out!

I am in pain. My back hurts and had episodes with the toilet since last night. I slept terribly being harassed by mosquitoes and my head, neck, and spine positioned in a rather uncomfortable sleeping pose. I look like a wreck with eye-bags this morning. Hmm, maybe I am getting old.

Mentioning the subject of getting old… Remember how much we, the younger generation complain about how our parents tend to freeze us at an age where we will always be treated as a baby, daddy’s little girl or an unruly teenager? In the past few months, I came to realize that we tend to do the same to our parents too.

I used to think that my mom is the ultimate powerhouse whereby being a single mom providing for 3, she was able to handle the family business, manage a part-time job as an insurance agent/trainer/financial planner, and had a prominent role in Rotary. She is resourceful and tactful, and was well exposed to much knowledge and experiences. If anyone needs a lesson in being street smart and mature in the works of society, mom is a person you should ask.

However, being home and being in close proximity with my mom of the past few months made me realize that all those little things my mom does and her antics that drive my sister and I nuts rest in the fact that my mom IS getting older. She is not as agile in her moment or as alert in her mind to remember things or carry out physical tasks. She tends to be irritated at the littlest things, getting more impatient and emotional towards certain issues, and sometimes, Su-Anne and I are just lost as to how to react to her.

It is important that we are aware of how time takes its toll on all of us. Not only we are to acknowledge that we are growing up and will be held accountable and responsible for our behavior and actions, but we should also be responsive to those around us. Maybe they are not aware about it, but for those who know, do try to be a little more understanding and patient. The tables have turned now where it is at this age our parents will turn to us for the things we used to seek after in them then. Do exercise love for the circle of life is upon us all.

“Hey, Suemae, want to join us for Yoga?”

No, thank you. Even though it is the “in” thing right now apart from Pilates and joining a gym, I just don’t see myself attracted to the given reason that it is relaxing, good for health and karma, and able to help one slim down. To me it is just a paid hour to follow some guy to do stretchy and bendy poses. I could do it at home, free of charge, with my kind of relaxation exercises.

So, does this bunny actually get off her bum for exercise? Well, I reckon there will be raised eyebrows to whether this bunny has any interest in doing sports of any kind. (It is the image and the impression given, I think.) Well, just to tickle your fancy and to let out a few "Oohs" "Ahhs" and "I didn’t knew that" this will be a blog about the sports I did in my life.

I am a rather competitive person and I think I am a sore loser. Thus, my choices in sports are those where I can be in control of the situation and I know I am good at it. Team sports… well, they are not exactly my cup of tea. The only form of exercise and sport that I enjoy doing it till this day on a regular basis is walking and maybe, swimming. I would hit the gym to play with some equipment if I have access to one if I had the spare time.

I walk. Yup. I enjoy hour-long brisk walks and could actually last pretty long. It would be made better if there is a good companion to share a little conversation at some point of time and keep up with the pace. Sad to say, hardly there are any who would and could apart from Rajiv and Sunil. As for swimming, well… I do not fancy the pool rules, with swimming caps… Okay, maybe I am a little self-conscious about the way I look in a bathing suit.

All my life I could not run for nuts. I remember how much I hated sport days back in school. Thus in elementary school, I did a little handball and some table tennis since I was not tall enough then for other games. However, strangely, I was involved, just a little with long jumping for track and field. How peculiar.

In my junior and high school years, I did do a little basketball and badminton in which I did join a few competitions and had a few larger games. I was in the chess club for a while (for which I hardly attended). But I do love the days of Taekwondo. It was the only sport that I was serious about (in a way). And I was good at it. I had the best times training, taking exams till I got my black belt, and most of all I love sparring and tournaments. I had a few achievements where I would smile to myself reminiscing about it even today.

There are some sports that I love. Kayaking, jet skiing and body surfing are the must dos if they are available on the beach. I like skiing too. Hmm, great times in Nagano.

So, is this a sporty bunny? Some would say that I do have the look. I could make a good poser. Apart from the adrenaline rush to boost up my moods, I exercise to keep a fit body and avoid the bigger body days. You decide.

I had an entry with the same title about a year ago. Reading that brought back memories when I was a student anticipating the days of graduation. The feeling right now is like sand trickling through the thin neck in an hourglass. There is certain gravity, momentum, and velocity that can be associated with the decided plans, preparation, and events that surround what is to come in the near future.

The countdown begins.

As June rolls in the agendas on my calendar are carefully marked and I see myself writing out to-do-lists to keep myself focused and on the top of things. Facing changes might not be easy, but keeping myself organized and composed would be helpful.

Just a year ago, life was rather different. However, Bunny is still the same, anticipating what is to come. Excited? Nervous? Worried? A little scared?

This is the time where courage has to be taken out of the keeps.

I am counting the days as I stand in front of my bathroom mirror as I prepare myself every morning. As I brush my teeth, thoughts just come rushing into my mind. I say a little prayer.

Dear friends and loved ones, lend me your courage and support. Facing what is to come is not an easy task at all. I would deeply appreciate your prayers and encouragement for me to stick to my dreams and be true to myself.