πατήρ
The series of events recently got the wheels of emotion and deep contemplation spinning within me. Due to my faith and experiences, I do not deny the importance and unique role of a father. He is the masculine role model, the firm and wise, and ever resourceful. Even though he shares many feminine virtues, but to me, a father will be the responsive listener, slow to anger, one with spontaneous humor—a friend and a mentor.
I live for the ideal even though it may never seem so in my life. The relationship I have with my birth father is unique that some may disagree. Well, no one is perfect but it is how we love and treat others that make a difference and a step to move up in humanity. Being Asian often limits the expression of our true thoughts and thus never allowing us to fully comprehend the actions of our Asian counterparts.
Two weeks ago, I suffer the loss of a very close friend. He was like a father to me. Attending the wake and the funeral got me reminiscing the times where I poured my heart out to Aunt BeBe with Uncle JP sitting there listening intently. His silence is interrupted with a few witty statements and jokes every now and then. By observing and getting to know the Tan’s on a personal level over the past 10 years, I learned that Uncle JP is a very dedicated and loving father and husband to Vanessa and Aunt BeBe. I had thoughts of sitting my future husband to be with Uncle JP to absorb his virtues.
Salutations, Uncle JP! May you rest in peace.
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Today, I celebrate the birthday of another loved one. I look up to his dedication and passion to the things he love. Yes, I believe that is the strength of a man. Firm and wise, he speaks the right words at the most appropriate time. Our conversations often leave me in reflection and challenged. There is never a dull moment. There are times when I feel some awkwardness, but it just shows my hesitation to fully immerse myself as a daughter. Funny, isn’t it? Others have showed love and grace of the ideal fatherhood to me instead of those who I am genetically tied to.
Some may call it betrayal, but I would say that it is a given chance, a graced opportunity to live life to the fullest in experiencing true love and a step closer to the ideal. Why wallow in sadness and stay bitter, when love IS all around? Isn’t it great that spending time listening or having a conversation with someone wise, witty, and a touch of goofiness brings enlightenment and peace? Just hanging around figures like such teaches me so much and every moment is one to cherish.
Happy Birthday, お父さん！ Even though it is not easy to express, but you will always have a daughter in me. Many happy returns of the day. May another year of blessings be with you. To good health!
