bunny tales

Last night sucked. Call me naïve or ungrateful, but I seriously miss my life in Japan.

Fish has never really been my cup of tea apart from super fresh fish used in sushi and sashimi. Ever since I could remember, I hated eating fish, especially those filled with bones. I also remember dad picking out pieces of meat for me just to get me to have some fish. Adding to that, I am very particular about the smell and taste of fish. I refuse to eat fish that smells of dirt and thus the intake of the fresh water breed is limited unless it is well prepared. Living in Japan had intensified my palate for fish. Many of you out there know that I really don’t like 秋刀魚 (sanma). I refuse to touch it. Ruth and Yuka often can have my share.

Salmon is great. I love salmon and tuna a lot when I am having sashimi with my other favorite cuts. Whenever I am lost at the sushi bar, I will never hesitate to reach for parts of the two fishes.

Anyways, what sucked about last night? Well, I guess I can say that I have always had a busy scheduled day. By evening, I am more often than not wiped out and a good evening meal and fellowship at the table does wonders for me. Reflecting back, dinner at the 食堂 (dinning hall) was not too bad at all. I get food at the table and I get to spend time with loved ones. Although I have many likes and dislikes, there is always something for me to pick. Otherwise, I will be happy with my big bowl of salad and miso soup. Fish may not be a big thing for me, but the way it is prepared in Japan are suitable for me at time. Anyhow, there is always the option of meat if I don’t feel like fish.

So, I was home a little later than usual from work caused by the hold up with the trains and the crazy traffic, and I stepped into a house that smells of fish. (It wasn’t very fragrant to me.) I looked at the dish we had for dinner and I have to say that it was one that was… Let’s just say that it was very difficult for me to swallow and it has been a long time since I last tortured my stomach. That meal was one where I can’t leave my food for heads will roll. I had to force myself to swallow the burnt, dried, hard, and oily piece of salmon served with hard not well-cooked mixtures of carrot, peas, and corn. I was really grateful for the boiled water spinach though.

SIGH!!! TCUの食事もう一回食べたい。みんなと一緒に食事したい。お母さんの料理も食べたい。

There are those who take pride in what they cook and what they serve. I, for one, will ensure that I am able to produce a good, edible dish. I guess I just have to be patient for now and try to complain less. I am not ungrateful that mom cooks for me when she does. However, I believe that food is to be eaten and enjoyed its taste to leave one satisfied and happy. I guess I will look forward to the days when I serve dinner. I will stick to what I CAN do and try to cook more often in the near future.

What a jinxed out weekend I had! I am thankful that the rain has cleared up a lot of the haze in KL. However, the phrase “when it rains, it pours” exercised in what happened over the weekend was just *$#*%!

Ever know how it feels when you know you have more than enough money to spend but you just can’t access it? Yup, that’s me. I have the dough in my accounts but I just couldn’t get any out due to the fact that I totally messed up remembering my pin number for a bank, and I have no idea where is the bank book needed for cash withdrawal in the other. Man! Imagine this big buffalo asking her sister to settle the bills when they come! Su-Anne was kind enough to pay it for me, but I know… I owe her big time!

I was so busy over the week unpacking and getting some tedious stuff done around the house that I totally forgotten to charge my Clie. And you know what? The batter was SO dead that all of my data was wiped out!!! Yep! Everything was gone except those that was stored into the memory stick. As some of you know, my laptop was not functioning (like since forever) so I did not back up any of the information. I lost my notes, my planner and schedules, my addresses, and some pictures. I also lost the Bible program downloaded and some e-books. SIGH!!!! So, I kindly plead all of you guys out there to PLEASE mail me your latest contacts of the current and the permanent. Thank you.

Somehow “the panties are bunched up,” if you get what I mean. I baked an apple pie last night but it didn’t really help. Baking this time wasn’t able to relax me as it always does. And I got up late this morning for work! Hmm, I seriously have to relax a little. To those who are willing to make things much better for me at this moment, call me, mail me, or take me out on a date. A good time spent with someone who cares is the best cure for this bunny.

A month! A month! It has been a month!!! I survived!!! (Well I still need to strive on though…)

What’s the hype? Technically, it is nothing, really. I have survived my official, very first job for a month now. So, since I haven’t talked much about it in the past weeks, allow me to share.

I remember the days when my sisters and I will pretend our future would be one involving us in the corporate world. I guess this has been influencing my character build up that many often see me as one who would grow up to wear a business suit to work. Well, I guess it has come to pass to a certain degree. I am now a consultant in a recruitment firm.

Technically, I am still on probation to be confirmed into the Japanese (I guess also Multi-National…) company. I work in the Japanese speaking division surrounded by many interesting characters. They are fun to be with. Apart from our duties, the conversations here are always on a merry note. Oh yes, we do snack a lot too.

I don’t think it is polite for me to disclose too much about the people who I am working with, but rest assured I am surrounded with nice people. Having them around during days when I wonder what in the world am I doing working here and now is very uplifting. There is simply so much to learn from them. (Don’t get me wrong. I know some of them maybe reading this… but they are very nice people and I am not just polishing apples.)

So, does this mean that I am moving on well? Sad to say, NO! I still miss Japan and TCU dearly. Working in a Japanese company does ease the pain a little as I am still in a Japanese environment and there are a lot of things that draws me closer to the country I love. However, it is these same things that makes me miss Japan and all who I have there tonnes. My colleagues often travel to Japan and my heart aches every time they mention something that reminds me of the good old days… I want to go home!!!

Anyways… I better stop. I should be working. It is not bad, not bad at all. There is so much to absorb over here, but I will try my best not to be too carried away by this. Hmm, funny how my dreams often do work out. I wanted to have some experience in the corporate world, and now I am doing it. So I guess I’d better make full use of my time here and thoroughly enjoy it. It won’t be long before the time comes when I have to move on to my DREAMS. Yup, that’s all for now… And for those who are reading this… back to work! (*^_^*)

What in the world am I doing sitting at my office so early in the morning? This is crazy.

I am sleep deprived. Hmm, not really… I would say that my sleep regime has been thrown off in the last 2 days of the Raya break. Even though I didn’t go anywhere for the holidays, staying at home FINALLY unpacking did me SOME good.

Yep, you read it right. I have been unpacking. Fancy coming home for close to two months now and it is fair to say that I am on my way to settling into a new groove—75% there! I got my room back and I have been busy rearranging and redecorating. I almost cried as I found some of my stuff broken through shipment and handling. My valued picture given by Dr. P shattered and pieces of glass was stuck on the picture. Took me a long while trying to steam the picture, removing the glass as delicately as possible. Hmm, I think I still have a piece of splintered glass in my left thumb. Anyways, I hope that I am able to place all of my stuff where it should be by this weekend. (You get the idea by now… This bunny has TONNES of junk!)

It has been such a long time since I saw sunlight coming through the skies and into the city. Looking at the beautiful sky outside, it does brighten up a non-morning-thus-grumpy-bunny. So, happy working!

(Ooh… Well. I do feel good as I get to wear my favorite clothes [to work] now, and I got my favorite “Greatest Sister” mug out.)

This is something rather interesting. It was sent to me by the person I would have never forseen… but nonetheless, after much thought, I think it describes us pretty well. What say you?

BITCHOLOGY

When I stand up for myself and my beliefs,
they call me a bitch.

When I stand up for those I love,
they call me a bitch.

When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts
or do things my own way, they call me a bitch.

Being a bitch means I won’t compromise what’s in my heart.
It means I live my life MY way.
It means I won’t allow anyone to step on me.

When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it,
I am defined as a bitch.

The same thing happens when I take time for myself
instead of being everyone’s maid,
or when I act a little selfish.

It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won’t become anyone else’s idea of what they think I "should" be.

I am outspoken,
opinionated and determined.
I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that!

So try to stomp on me,
try to douse my inner flame,
try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me.
You won’t succeed.

And if that makes me a bitch,
so be it.
I embrace the title and
am proud to bear it.

B - Babe
I - In
T - Total
C - Control of
H - Herself

B = Beautiful
I = Intelligent
T = Talented
C = Charming
H = Hell of a Woman

B = Beautiful
I = Individual
T = That
C = Can
H = Handle anything

I guess you have heard it from the news by now that the haze in Kuala Lumpur has reached a critical condition.

But seriously, do I need newspapers to tell me that? I work in a building that is located right in the heart of the city. On the 17th floor, through the tinted glass, one can obviously see that something strange is going on out there. The skylight is dark and when the curious investigate through the window, the pedestrians below hold no umbrellas. HAZE… fat chance experiencing a fog in this part of the world, but this pretty much the same. We have low visibility but the haze poses danger to your health too. The smell of smoke is always there. How would I know? Well, even though I did leave my nose in Japan but this week has been horrible for my nose and throat. The descent of the haze on the city has caused me to have breathing problems, forever sneezing nose, at to the latest addition, hideous coughs.

Hmm, if this carry on, maybe Malaysians will be evolved genetically to have a heavier growth in their nose hair. Sigh, I need that. Maybe by downing a bottle of alcohol into my nose might help. (Don’t ask me whether it works… it is a Chinese method for growing thicker hair.)

Well, it is the weekend. Have a good one wherever you are. For those who are fasting, 頑張って！ To the romantics of the season, “Happy Mid-Autumn!”

TIME is a yardstick for us to measure the course of events that has happened. It might be sheer pride but I would say that by looking back at what has happened every now and then, the past month would be one that has stark differences to what I have encountered of the recent years.

It has been almost a month since I have boarded the plane that brought me back to the shores of Malaysia. A month living out of my suitcase was finally ended when I received my sent belongings shipped by sea-mail on Saturday. As I look at the boxes, I was overwhelmed by countless thoughts and immeasurable feelings that has been in my heart for the whole week since my birthday.

As I went for my pedicure, I look upon the scars that were on my feet from wearing my "geta" as I went for the "Chiba New Town matsuri" at with Masako and Mark Tatarada-park with Masako. That was the same day the postman collected my stuff from the Women’s Dorm.

After my birthday, I knew that the entire TCU community will be off for Campus Retreat the Wednesday after as that was the "tradition" and practice of my four years there. Thus, as I was standing in the trains to get myself to the company on my first day of work, I had thoughts in my head at the exact time my professors and friends meet and start their journey to Karuizawa. As I sit at my desk, I kept thinking about what is going on over there in Megumi-chalet, the place I went for my first campus retreat ever. (Sniff!)

One month… one month… There is so much I miss and even more for me to get used to being back and starting a new chapter of my life. This is one small and weak bunny. I have to admit that there are times which I tell myself that it is too much for me to cope and wish to go back to the familiarity and comfort of my university days. However, I know I have to strive on and succeed. I do this not only for myself, but in honor and responsibility to all of those out there who has given me so much, care, and worry for me. I press on in hope that everything will work out for the best. It is not easy, but I find strength in LOVE and the prayers of my loved ones.